One more thing to look forward too

As I see those girls walking down the isle,
And the boys meeting them half way,
It makes my mind wander.
To think about next year, and the years to come.
The early morning hair appointments,
And getting the fake nails put on the day before.
So much to plan,
To find the perfect dress,
Shoes, jewelry and all things to go with it.
The tux fitting,
Flowers being ordered.
Where to eat, and the day after plans.
The millions of pictures to be taken,
And the stress of finding a date.
Although it may be over whelming,
I can not wait for it.
My junior and senior prom.
A day to remember,
To never forget.
Spent with the ones you have a blast with,
And are close to your heart.
Only a year away,
365 days.
And one more thing to look forward too

The bonfires,
Late nights,
Lake clippin',
Sweet 16's,
Friends,
Cars,
Walks,
Days at the pool,
Boating,
Sun burn,
All the games,
Twins,
Vacations,
Sitting on the deck,
Hot tubbing,
&&
Picniks.

Sound familiar?
Those are the words of summer, the things we can do in 28 days.
Enjot ourselves, and be lazy.
See the ones we havent in so long, and let the days pass.
Be ourself, and let loose.
No cares, just typical teens.
Expected to never be home, and be beat the day after.
In the end though,
It will all be worth it.
Summer 2012 <3

That familiar feeling down in the stomache,
The one that makes you want to drop down and cry.
And its that same person that does it to you.
Maybe not a certain person, but gender.
Those boys.

The ones that say all the right words,
Pulling you in day after day,
More and more.

It's those that hold you for hours,
Then kiss you on the forehead.

The ones that take your hand,
But never let go.

The ones that look you in the eye,
Telling you how they feel about you.

Its the ones that tickle you and arnt afraid to be themselves,
In front of the ones they want to impress.

Its the ones that make you smile for days on end,
And say they will never hurt you.

But being the girls we are,
We dont listen.
And dont believe that.
We just keep on letting them make us smile,
Keep on tickling us,
And looking us in the eye, holding that endless stare.
We take their hand, so they cant let go.
And kiss them back.
We let them keep telling us all the right words,
And let them pull us in so much more.

Until we get hurt.
When that feeling comes back.
And you go down.
Thinking to yourself "why?"
As the heart is breaking, we get back up.
Because we can.
Because we're girls,
And we are strong.
We can take it,
And get right back up.

Ladies, dont let those dumb boys do that to you <3

The days continue on,
And go faster and faster.
High school is going by me like the speed of light.
Trying to capture as much as I can,
Taking everything as it comes.
Before you know it, we will be graduated,
Gone.
As Freshman year has passed,
And Sophomore year is coming to a close,
Junior year is just around the corner.
Every year its own,
With new opportunities and goals.
With the goals comes the challenges and obstacles.
We get more freedom each year,
And need to live up to the expectations that come along.
The pressure is on,
College prep is in the near future.
Its crazy to think that we are almost half way done with our high school career.
Its been great so far,
A one is a lifetime thing.
And trying to make the best of it.

You know he's a keeper when he knows something is wrong,
From seeing a status update on Facebook,
Then texts you.

Its when you get the messages in the morning,
That end up making your whole day.

When he calls you beautiful,
And you know he means it.

A keeper is one that isnt afraid to joke around with you,
For all to see.

&& Thats when you know you found a keeper.

Its the best thing in the world, to have someone there for you, day in and day out.
To have someone that cares for you.
And makes you laugh.
The feeling sends a shiver up your spine,
But you know its a good feeling.
When you wake up with butterflies in your tummy; from him.
Its the smile and the incredible personality that draws you in,
And makes you dig deeper into that specail someone.
Dont let go og them,
You will regret it.
Enjoy what you have

Feelings we cant keep in
Real life; absolutely amazing
Indescribable times
Endless memories
Needless to say; great people
Dont even get me started
Super lucky girl

New people and making new friends is the best thing ever. And I recently just made a new friend. She is so cool and sweet and a great girl. We talk pretty much every day and our conversations are indescribable. I love talking with her. We have many many many great plans already made for this summer. And it will be wonderful. Her and I are alike in so many ways. its crazy. I wish we became friends sooner. I cant wait for this summer and all the times ahead for her and I. Although we live in different towns, 20 minutes apart, we arnt going to let that get to us. It's been a great few weeks!

Feelin' like a million bucks on this gorgeous spring day,
Couldn't be in a better mood.

With not much to say,
As it shows with my mile wide smile.

Stepping out the door,
And to see the beautiful shore,

The wind catches my hair,
And sends a chill up my spine.

Letting loose and not giving a care,
Step by step, my toes sinking in.

Walking up and down the sand,
All the little pieces getting caught,

You came up behind me, to grab my hand,
But to never let go.

Looking out at the sun,
The rays beating so strong,

Makes me want to grab you and run,
Just the two of us. Forever.

Sitting down in the chair,
Mine has stripes and yours is solid,

As our eyes meet, and our thoughts share,
Life couldn't be better.

Enjoying the moment as we can,
'Cuz before you know it, it's gone.

Gettin' the tan,
But catch a glimpse of you.

Your skin glowing,
But you cant help it.

And your underwear showing,
I catch myself laughing, and shut my eyes.

Deeper and deeper,
Its so perfect.

Your a keeper,
No questions asked.

Time to go,
Packing up

Cuz the tides getting low,
And the sky fading away.

Going for the last walk,
I don't feel any more whole.

I'm zoned in as you talk,
Every word I'm falling more and more into you.

But as I see my house in the distance and turn to head back,
You stop me short.

Hold me tight, not cutting any slack,
And tell me goodbye.

The smile hasn't left my face,
Just a good way to end a perfect day.

I try not to pick up the pace,
But now I'm back home.

Climbing into bed,
Nothing feels real.

Shutting my eyes, as my thoughts are being shed.
As I dream about tomorrow and what it will bring...

The real me

As I let my mind wander, and the thoughts fly out of my head, it feels so good. To not care for once. To be myself, and not some girl that everyone wants me to be, who they think I am. Looking out the window, the sun shining so bright, the rays warming my body up and down. The breeze picks up, and sends a chill running though my spine. Step by step a new thought leaves my mind, and one less thing to worry about. My shoulders relax, and I can breathe. I can look myself in the eyes when I look at that water. Soul searching maybe. To find out more about myself. The wind blows my hair back off my face as I start to sit down. And sitting down on the grass by the slow running creek, puts me to sleep. As my eyes close and my mind wanders a little more, I cant help but thinking about life and everything about it. How I am the luckiest girl on this planet, to have a living and healthy family. To be healthy. To attend school. To have friends. To have people that love me and care about me. To have a place to live, and have clothes on my back. And that's not even close to half of it. Curled up on the ground, I feel like me, the true me. That other thought that crosses my mind and makes me think. The girl that I am proud to be. Its who I am. Accept me, don't change me. Love me, don't hate me. See me for who I am, not who you want me to be. It feels good to have my mind loose, blank. Everything gone. To just lay there relaxed and enjoying the beautiful spring day. The flowers blooming and tress getting all the leafs back. The grass becoming green and the blue skies floating by. Now I cant help but smile, from ear to ear. I don't want to get up, but with the day coming to and end and the blue skies becoming dark, I have no choice but to get up and take that walk back home. To walk past the calm lake, and see all the people with a smile on their face too, having a wonderful time. To meet all the other people walking, and talking with their friends. To see the cars drive by with the music blaring. To see the kids swinging at the playground as the birds chirp. To see the love birds hand in hand, walking to the perfect picnic spot. The driveway is just around the corner as I come back, and get a grasp on my thoughts and my mind. Such a wonderful day, couldn't have asked for more. I know whats important and have my life in control now. I found the inner me and who I am. I'm comin' home as the real me with a smile from ear to ear. And people will wonder. But never know...

The footprints you left

"Some people come into our lives, and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on your heart. And we are never, ever the same."

Little did you know that you made a difference. Not a difference that is noticeable, but you changed my life. A difference that made me who I am today, a difference that has helped shaped me. A difference that now makes me realize whats important in life, and what I can do without. A difference that makes me live life to the fullest, a difference that has me living with no regrets.

You came into my life, but then left me. I was falling day in and day out, until I finally hit the ground. Little did I know, that you wouldn't be there to catch me. I had to pick myself up, and dust the dirt off my shoulders, and walked away like nothing ever happened. Being with you made me whole, complete. I could be myself around you and not care about anything.

All the days it was just me and you, you and me, I had the biggest smile on my face. You touched my life like no other guy has. Each and everyday you left your own special and unique footprint on my heart, leaving your trademark. I know people come and go from our lives each and every day, but I didn't think we would come to that. I don't know if you realize how big of a part of my life you were, what you made me. As I go through out each day, living my life the way that's best for me, I catch myself thinking back, and feeling those footprints still on my heart.

It may hurt me, but in the end I know it was for the best. Those footprints will forever be on my heart, each one having its own meaning. A part of you will never leave me, that part making me whole. I don't regret anything we had, for that time was one of the best. You were my all, my everything. I know you wouldn't want me to be in any pain. And when I am, that's when I sit back and close my eyes to feel those footprints you left on my heart...

Your in my thoughts, your in my prayers

This is another blog I don't want to write,
Another blog that breaks my heart with every word I type.
An innocent girl,
Hanging on to life with all she has.
Not giving up,
Because she knows its not the end for her.
Lexi Hagen.
A bright, beautiful and strong girl,
That got in an accident around March 23rd.
She was driving and rolled her car,
And is now laying in the hospital,
Giving it all she has to stay here with us.
As I read her caring bridge and the Facebook pages,
I can feel my heart break.
The family and friends that love her,
Sitting by her,
Helping her through this very hard and difficult time.
It brings me back to the time, 6 months ago,
When CJ got in a car accident, and was in crucial condition.
And Jacob died.
CJ pulled though.
Knowing the condition he was in,
And Lexi's current one,
I know she can pull through.
It just makes me realize even more,
That it can happen to anyone,
At anytime, anywhere.
Live your life to the fullest.
Never look back.
Live life like its your last.
I cant say and think that enough.
People don't get it until it has happened to them.
Please pray for Lexi and her family.
Your in my thoughts and prayers girl
Stay strong Lexi Hagen!

This one's for you...

The hardest thing in life is loosing the ones you love, the ones that are closest to you.
To come home each and everyday and see them struggling?
How it breaks my heart.
To wish I could just go and grab them in my arms,
And make everything all better.
Seeing them struggle, and knowing you cant do anything is the worst part.
Knowing that if I could do anything,
Take the pain for them,
Make them go back to normal,
But I cant.
All you can do is sit there and watch.
Sitting in their arms,
Just like it was when you were a little girl,
You can feel your heart breaking more and more,
With each moment of silence.
As all the memories come back to you,
From the holiday dinners to birthday parties,
Or just the days when it was you her and  grandma.
I know loosing you would come,
Since its part of life.
But I didn't think it would have this effect on me.
As we arrive at your funeral,
And your not there, with me,
Tears starting rolling down my checks.
You were my all, my world.
The one I looked up too.
I cant take this pain and heartache.
Then I see grandma, as she comes over and grabs me.
I look over and see my dad, my brother, crying.
My grandma holds me, and I hold her.
Tight. Not letting go.
It doesn't seem real,
Loosing you, and knowing you wont be back.
Looking back on everything today makes me realize all that we had.
Our special bond.
I wish I could tell you I Love You one more time.
To spend one more day with you.
Anything.
But your gone, and you wont be able to read this.
There is so much I want to tell you.
Everything about life,
School, boys, drama, the whole 9 yards.
But your gone.
This blog is dedicated to you,
Grandma Holstad.
I love you and miss you so much <3
I will see you again, I promise.

Whoever says those in your family cant be your best friend, are wrong.
The one that loves you the most, and is there through everything,
The one that makes your stronger, and shapes who you are.
As you look at the special person, you can see part of yourself looking back at you.
You know that she is a part of you, and you're a part of her.
You have her smile, her eyes.
Looking at her,
You hope to be all she has become.
Such a strong, independent, smart, beautiful, wise woman.
You know she has been through hell and back,
And that she has pushed through it all.
Sure, there are struggles and rough patches,
But she is the one that is there for you,
Never going to let you down.
This whole process,
Life,
Is making you closer, your bond stronger.
She gives you the advice,
On everything under the sun.
She is the one you go to for it all.
The boys,
Drama,
Rumors,
Money,
Or just when you need a hug, or a shoulder to cry on.
Never let anything get in the way of this special thing you have.
Everyday you will become a stronger pair.
You go through life hand in hand.
She is the one that wont leave you,
When the rest of the world walks out.
The one that will wipe away the tears,
And the one that will be right next to you sharing that big smile.
Don't let this fade.
You wont get it back.
Something that you will regret if you loose it,
But something you will Cherish with your life.
Its so unique, this bond.
Of course you will have bonds with many people in your life,
But this is one that will be there forever.
Don't let it go.
Now, some many have figured out who I am talking about.
Who this special person is.
Who I have this bond with,
And who is my all.
Its my mom.
Julie Kay Johnson.
She is the best.
We are best friends.
Nothing will change that.
Day by day, we become closer.
I look at her and hope I can be like her when I grow up.
I love you soo much mom.
>

What doesnt kill you, only makes you stronger

That big grin going from ear to ear,
From morning to night,
Never loosing any of its spunk.
The outcome of something that you've waited for for 2 years.
Those words,
You didn't think you would hear.
Bye bye brace.
No more wearing it to school,
Or during the day.
It pays off,
To be patient.
To listen to the ones who know what they are talking about.
To have confidence.
To push through the things life throws at you.
To stay strong.
To turn to the ones that love you, and support you no matter what.
To get through the pain,
And to shed a few tears.
Because it all pays off in the end.
Everything in life teaches you something.
No matter if its good, or bad.
Being one of those people out there that had to be in a brace,
For 2 years,
20 hours a day,
Made me who I am.
It was a big part of my life that helped me shape who I am.
It made me such a stronger person,
It helped me turn to those I love,
It helped me realize some of the most important things in life,
It helped me to have hope, and look for the light at the end of the tunnel.
It helped me push through each day,
It helped me and gave me a reason to smile more.
It helped me realize that there are people out there that have it worse than me.
Wearing this brace was one of the toughest things I've been through.
It was also one of the scariest, and probably one of the better too.
It taught me so much.
It shows me that there are reasons for things,
And the hard things in life end too.
It just gives you a reason to show everyone what your capable of.
To show them you can do it.
I showed myself that I could do it.
I didn't do this by myself, or go thorough this long process by myself either, not even close.
You will have so many people out there to help and support you,
Love and care about you.
Let them help you, and turn to them when you need to.
They wont let you down.
They are there to help.
Its worth it.
Because whatever doesn't kill you...
Only makes you stronger.

No one wants to become one of those numbers,
The numbers that help all the professionals figure their data,
A stat.
The accident stats,
Homicides, killings and murders.
The stats about parents walking out of your life.
You may not think of it happening to you,
But when it does, what are you supposed to do?
Just continue on with life?
Talk to someone?
Keep it inside?
All the options.
Its not something you want.
Not for you, or anyone that you love or care about.
Just by looking at someone, you would never know.
It could be the pretty, popular girl,
The football all star
Or the nerd with the big glasses.
It's not fun,
Knowing you are one of those that says,
"One of my parents was only in my life for so long"
Not having them is one of the biggest challenges of life.
Its like a part of your heart lost, gone.
Everyday you dream and hope,
Think of how things could be better, and that special person would be back in your life.
Waking up and knowing they wont be there,
And you wont get to see them, it hurts.
My heart aches.
It aches knowing the simplest things wont be the same.
No more good night kisses,
The big bear hugs.
Its almost like this big 10,000 pound block coming down and crushing you.
The years you had were the best,
Words cant describe them.
A person lost,
A piece missing.
Hearts hurting,
Tears streaming.
A stat,
That now I could be a part of...

What happens when,

The world comes crashing down,
And everything seems to be going wrong.

When you have no reason to smile,
But every reason to be sad.

When you feel like you have nothing left to give,
And all is drained from your mind and body.

When you cant stop hurting,
A constant pain going thorough your body.

When tears keep running down your cheeks,
Not slowing down, to give you a break.


That's when you realize your bigger than it all,
Stronger than you believe.
You fight, until the battle is over,
Giving it every last ounce you have.
You do not give up.
You can do it,
Hold that head high,
And walk like you are undestroyable.
Speak your mind,
It will be worth it.
Look at those in your life that will be there through it all,
The ones that love you at your best,
And hold you at your worst.
Find those who are willing to go down with you,
And will get right back up, and bring you up with them.
Set your sites on whats important,
And go for that.
Take it as it comes,
Little by little,
One step at a time.
You are you,
Don't let anyone tell you different,
Or change the person you are.
Time will heal,
Just stick with it,
And go along with each path it takes you to.

What if....

What if the one you loved stopped loving you?
What if the one that was always there walked out?
What if the road gets long and bumpy?
What if your so close to giving up?
What if there is nothing to keep you going?
What if everything takes a turn for the worst?
What if the tears wont stop?
What if the pain doesn't go away?
What if you fell, and cant get back up?
What if all you need was someone to...

Then you fight,
Fight to get that love back.

Then you close the door behind them,
And let the ones that matter stay inside.

Then you hold on tight,
And keep looking for the smooth pavement.

Then you don't look back,
Just look ahead and say "I can."

Then you dig down deeper,
Until you find that last bit of hope to keep you going.

Then you focus on the good in life,
Seeing how it over rules the bad.

The you go get a tissue,
And wipe away the temporary tears.

Then you go and get a band aid,
And hope it helps the pain.

Then you find your inner self that says I can,
And get the strength to pull yourself back up and dust the dirt off.

Someone to love you, someone special to walk into your life, someone to lean on when the going gets rough, someone to tell you that you can, someone motivating you every step of the way, someone to remind you of the good things in life, someone to hand you that Kleenex, someone to put the band aid where it hurts and make the pain all better, and someone to give you a hand, and help you back up <3

Life as we know it.

Life as we know it, is one big, long and full journey.

Take it one step at a time,
Even though it may be a climb.

Enjoy each moment as its your last,
Because before you know it, that's part of your past.

Don't live with regrets,
Learn to forgive and forget.

Capture every memory with all that you have,
It may be your last grab.

Never loose the ones that mean the most,
Because they will the ones holding you up, that strong post.

When your scared to look bad, and afraid to look ahead,
And the tears are about to be shed,

Hold that head up high,
And let all your cares fly.

Its a unique thing,
And its amazing what it can bring.

Life, one word.
Yet expressed in so many ways, some unheard.

So many things thrown at you,
Lets look at it in review.

Starting at age five,
Or even when you weren't alive.

Never give up hope,
Since its not the end of the rope.

This is it,
One chance, one hit.

Live life to the fullest
Giving it your best.

For its one amazing ride,
Hold on tight, and don't let it slide.

Whats meant to be, will be

As I lay my head down on my pillow,
And close my eyes,
All I see is you.
My mind will not slow down.
I try and figure out how I'm feeling,
Or the bigger question, what I'm feeling.
My stomach is turning.
I don't get why I want to be with you so bad.
When you put me through all that pain and heart ache.
I cant help looking over at you,
Standing in my basement,
Wishing you would come over and grab me,
Pull me in and hold me tight.
Why cant we just talk,
Figure all this out.
Sitting on the stairs as you walk past me and leave,
Pulls me down.
The tears are about ready to stream down my face, but I hold it together.
In my heart, I know I still have feelings for you,
But in my gut feeling is telling me that your a player and you only want to play games.
I don't want to admit it, but in my heart,
I don't think there will be anything between us again.
It hurts so bad to say that, and I would love it if you proved me wrong.
But deep inside, can I truly do that to myself again?
Get put through that? Why do you do this to me.
I don't know what to do anymore, I honestly don't know.
It leaves me speechless and my mind blank.
Its all up to you,
Everything is in your court.
I just wish you could realize it.
How I feel.
Whats meant to be, will be.
I just have to be patient and wait to see what is meant to be..

We'll get through

As I look at you,
An amazing person,
So much going for you.
Such a head strong girl,
You get through it all.
Walking down the halls,
No one would know.
No one would know the pain and hurt your feeling.
Knowing inside that you hurt,
Is one of the things that kills me most.
How your struggling,
Not getting along with the 2 that you need most.
A tough time,
But surrounded by the ones that love you,
You'll get through.
You don't deserve to be going through this,
To be treated the way you are.
You don't let anyone know how its affecting you.
Seeing this beautiful, amazing, strong girl,
Hurting, loosing this battle,
Kills me.
Don't look back,
Just keep your eyes forward.
Forget about the past,
Let's focus on the present.
I'll help you with it all.
I pinky promise.
Anything it takes.
Surround yourself with the ones that love you,
And think of the good in life.
Its okay baby girl.
We'll get through.

A littles girls heart broken
Because of a stupid boy
Crying every night
Dreaming about him
Every endless nights
Finally she learns
Growing up is a pain
He will do that to you
It hurts, so much
Just gotta remember whats important in life
Keep on pushing through, life will get better
Loving someone takes time. A learing process
Moving on is part of it
No one is worth it, if they cause you this much pain
One day at a time
Promise me, you will be okay
Quit looking back with regrets and the what if's
Reach out to the ones that are there to help
Search for the one out there that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated
Time is all it takes, paticence
Understand it's going to be okay
Various people play roles in your life
Wake up everyday, and go to bed each night with a smile
Your a beautiful, strong, and wise girl
Zero in on you, and whats important babby girl, its only a little part of life journey for you, making you the person you are.

Everyday..

Everyday.
Everyday I think about you,
Dream about you,
Wish about you.
You have no idea.
That one person.
The one who comforts me,
Is there,
And helps me through out all of life's obstacles.

Everyday.
Everyday, you hold me tight, and never let go.
You steal the key to my heart.
You know the littlest things that make me smile, laugh.
When I come to you in my sweats and sweatshirt, looking my worst,
You take me in, wiping the tears away,
Knowing just the right words to make it better.

Everyday.
Everyday, I see your face,
In my mind, in the halls.
I catch a glimpse,
Look back,
Only to see you wink back at me,
And I continue on, a smile pasted on my face.

Everyday.
Everyday, you and me boy.
Together. Forever.
A promise.
The feeling I get,
Butterflies in my tummy.

Everyday.
Everyday, continuing on.
I know have you,
And just the thought makes my day.
One in a million.

Everyday.
Hand in hand,
A perfect match.
My eyes locked with yours,
Lost in you.
Looking for that place where I can hold on to,
And never let go.

Everyday.
I thank God for you,
The one that has made me complete.
The one that knows the In's and outs of me.
The one that knows the song in my heart and can sign it back to me when I need it most.
The one who holds me at my weakest, and supports me and my strongest.
The one the loves me for me, and no one else.
The one that can make me laugh when I don't even want to smile.
The one I thank God for everyday..

Soo this weekend has been pretty good!! My mom has been on a cruise all week with my aint and uncle and my other uncle and his girlfriend. Me and my friend Ashely watched my cousins Saturday and Sunday and in staying over again Sunday because our parents won't be back till really late. We made a lot of crafts! It was sooooo fun! Yesterday we watched a bunch if movies and hung out and had pizza. Today for valentines day we colored pictures and made cupcakes and we decorated them and the made these flower heart things. And made a welcome home sign! Fun fun fun (:
And on Thursday I talked to my grandma that's in Florida for 2 months and found out my uncle and his girlfriend got engaged on the cruise!! I was soooo happy to hear that. It's gunna be a crazy fun wedding. I'm pumped. And Friday I hung out with my bestest friend and we got her boyfriends valentine gift together. That was fun
too even though it involved blowing up 60 balloons by hand! I think that's about it (:


Byeeee!!(:

Let this adventure begin (:

Day in and day out,
my mind going crazy with thoughts about you.
My body is filled from head to toe with the best feeling ever.
Knowing I won't loose you is the best.
It's for real this time. I know it is.
A promise.
You tell me you won't leave me and how amazing I am.
That is the best. Words can't even describe it.
I feel like i'm on cloud nine, floating above everyone.
Not a day goes by that you don't make me smile.
I wanna spend the rest of my life with you.
Your mine.
I love the feeling you give me
and the images that play on my head of us.
I can't wait to see what the future will bring us.
What it will bring you.
This seems way too goodto be true.
You know everything is perfect when everyone around you is saying he is so good to you.
You treat me the way a girl is supossed to be treated.
No messing around, this is life.
A one in a million chance.
I still can't get my mind around it.
How did I get so lucky?
I have waited so long for him.
Gone through so many heart breaks.
I lucked out on this one.
He is my dream guy.
Let this adventure begin

Your my best friend...

You help me through so much,
Never give up on me.
We have been through everything together,
From the first day of school to graduation day.
You support me, I support you.
You cry, I cry.
You fight, I fight.
You laugh, I laugh.
You smile, I smile.
We take everything as it comes,
Battle after battle.
Fighting it with each other by our sides.
Roll with life's punches.
Hand in hand.
Seeing you hurt and the tears running down your face,
It kills me.
I grab you and give you the biggest hug ever.
I wipe away your tears, and hold you tight.
The tears run down my face.
I hate seeing you like this,
Hurting. Disappointed.
You don't deserve it.
Your head is on my shoulder,
As I rub your hair and say its all okay.
Your my best friend, a huge part of me.
You would do the same for me.
You can count on me for any and every thing.
No matter what.
I will be here.
I promise.
Your my life.
Everything will be okay.
I will help you through it,
Continue on with life,
Hand in hand,
Heart in heart.
Your my best friend

It only happens once

As time goes on, and people continue with their daily happenings, I sit and think.
High school is a one in a life time thing.
All the sporting events and night outs with friends.
The boat loads of homework and book readings.
Sleepless nights and early mornings.
My mind races as I go down memory lane.
Friends, boys.
The amazing teachers and the terrible ones.
As the years wind down, it hurts.
The friends I'll loose to college, and the new ones coming in.
Counselors coming into classes for next years registration.
The college classes and electives.
All the requirements, the options.
One moments its your first day, as a freshman,
and in the blink of an eye its your last day of senior year.
All the laughs and tears, memories.
As one door closes, another opens.
The story of life.
Take everything one step at a time, and enjoy every moment.
Live as if its your last, with no regrets.
It only happens once in your life.
Don't look back, saying if only or I wish.
Live in the now, savor each and every minute.
Its high school..

It can happen in the blink of an eye.
Gone. Not coming back.
As the days go by, slower than ever,
I struggle on. Pushing through.
The thought of knowing your not coming back hurts me so bad.
My eyes welling up, as tears run down my checks.
Its so different.
We had been through so much.
And had so much more to do, to go through together.
But your life ended short.
It's so not fair.
You were always there for me.
The one I came to for advice, my problems, help, to talk, hangout. Anything.
I always catch myself asking why? Why did it have to happen to you?
You were such an amazing person.
The one people looked up too. Always willing to help out.
The shaggy brown hair. Big green eyes. The smile that went from ear to ear.
Walking down the hall, thinking about everything.
My mind wont slow down.
I need you so bad.
Why cant I get over the fact that your gone, a part of me lost forever.
I just gotta remember that your in a better place,
and I WILL see you again.
Not a day goes by that I dont think about you.
That picture of us hanging in my locker, and in my room.
Its so hard. I miss you like crazy!
Your always on my mind..
Forever in my heart.
I want the best for you. In all you do. You lived such a great life.
I know you will succeed in all you do.
Once you set your heart and mind to it up there
You were like my brother.
That close.
I remember coming to all your games and meets like it was yesterday.
Walking, tears running down my face.
There's your locker.
As I walk past, I turn around, and just sit down.
All the flowers, pictures and posters.
I cant take this pain. I let it all out.
Sitting at your locker, down on my knees.
Everything is playing back. A slide show in my head.
Your gone. Not coming back.
I miss you like CRAZY.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
I will see you again. I promise..

And You Bring out the Best in Me

You know every detail about me,
even if its just the littlest things.
You know how to make me laugh,
even when I don't wanna smile.
You can wipe the tears away,
and make it all better.
The times I spend with you are endless.
So memorable. Priceless. Amazing.
You know what makes me mad, happy and sad.
When I'm with you, all cares are gone.
I can look you in the eyes,
and know you'll always be there.
You got my back, and I have yours.
We get through everything together.
Without you I'd be lost,
Not even close to complete.
Its the times that its dead silent,
and we catch a glimpse of each other and burst out laughing.
The times where we are on 2 hours of sleep,
And up at 4 in the morning, that are the best.
When I don't even have to say one word,
And you know somethings not quite right.
Its when we're road trippin' it, hair blowing in the wind,
And there's no looking back, that I know your my best.
All the late night talks, movie nights, shopping trips,
Tears shed, laughs had, stories told.
All the memories. Endless.
And oh, there are so many more.
Its when...
You know how to bring the best out in me..

Reppin' my main man Peterson's jersey tonight for the game. its a super good game. i hope we win. that would be so cool. this weekend was amazing. i went to Duluth for a hockey tourney. it was so fun. i went and visited the college. i wanna go there. but now i dont feel good. so im gunna go lay down and continue watching the game.

night (:

&Oh you make me smile..

And oh you make me smile.
Day in and day out.
Even when I'm down, the worst possible day.
You know how to brighten my day, make the sunshine bright.
It's the simplest things, like the (: in your text messages, that make me smile.
I even catch myself laughing out loud, all the cares gone.
Knowing you might be thinking about me, makes it all worth it.
Waiting will pay off.
The right one is out there.
This may not be the right one for me, but it sure seems like it.
Your so cute, sweet, sensitive, adorable and silly.
Its so much of a change, to be talking to you.
Someone that treats me right, and likes talking to me.
I look forward to each morning, with you being there.
And each night, my last thought of you.
Meeting you was the best thing that's happened in a while.
I've moved on from the other ones, now its all you.
Distance is the only thing in the way.
A hour a part.
Talking about when I can drive.
Wearing your football jersey, cheering you on.
Coming to kidnap you, and have a day to our self.
I lucked out on this one.
I'm a happy girl, and..

...oh you make me smile...

live
laugh
love

my favorite saying(:
i love life at the moment. everything is amazing.
couldnt ask for more!
and its a good saying for life, or to follow about living life.
(: <3

GO VIKES!!!
today i watched the playoff game at it was sweet! they played good. and i wore my new peterson jersey too (: it was a good day. sorry cowboys...seasons over! (:

As I close my eyes...

As I close my eyes,
I see everything I wish life could be.
To be with you.
Wake up to that big smile,
And go to bed with my heart filled with love and happiness.
I wish upon stars and dream like there's no tomorrow.
Hoping and praying.
But as hard as I try, it's not happening.

As I close my eyes,
Your right there next to me,
Giving all the support.
Tilting my head up to meet yours,
Looking me in the eyes.
Telling me its going to be okay.

As I close my eyes,
Our hands meet,
Interlaced. A perfect match.
As my head rests on your chest,
I hear every gentle beat of your heart.

As I close my eyes,
Your the right one for me,
Everything about you..about us, feels so right.
Laughing as we walk down the beach,
Those big brown eyes lost in my soul.

As my eyes open,
I realize the reality.
Its all a dream.
Everything I wish that could be between us.
But when the truth is I don't even know how you feel.
Its so hard to get anything out of you.

As I close my eyes,
I keep dreaming,
Hoping one day it will come true..

& from this moment on...

From this moment on...
I plan to be a better person,
A better me.
Respect others,
Listen to them.
Never give up,
Staying strong, with my held held high.
Push through every obstacle I can,
Saying I can do this.

From this moment on...
I wont let things get me down,
Just continue on like it never happened.
I wont let go,
Try and hold on, hang in there with all my might.
I wont let you be alone,
From this moment on.

From this moment on..
I will take everything as it comes,
Roll with the punches.
I wont run out of hope, even when it may be gone,
To dig down deeper and find that last bit.
I will take this world on,
Step by step, day by day.

And from this moment on...
Time will go by, days will continue on. I will get stronger, find that last bit of hope. I know I can carry on, when everything in this world seems to be against me and until the hurt is gone. I will try my hardest day in and day out. I wont give up.

& from this moment on...

once again its cutting it close to the dead line for blogging and im kinda stressing out. i have other homework that i gotta do and i just keep putting it off! uhg. so thins will be a quicky. break was so fun! today i had a christmas party with some friends and that was good! we dressed up and had a 3 course meal! (: it was a super good way to end my break. i love my friends so much. i hung out with my best friend ashley 90% of the break. that was amazing too. it was a good break and im NOT ready for school. worth you will be happy to know that after this im going to do homewrok for your class. so byee...(:

I dont know...

My mind going crazy,
the room going in circles. Dizzy.
I dont have any idea what to think,
or say. I cant talk.
I hope your okay.
A bad idea. A gut feeling.
I wanna cry so bad, to scream out and tell someone! Anyone...
I feel like my life is slowly going down hill.
I need to turn this around.
To start this year off right. It should be a new begininng.
A clean start.
To erase everything in the past. It doesnt matter now.
But this is killing me.
Something everyone hears about. And doesnt know what to think.
A tough situation.
I just wanna go curl up in a ball, under the nice warm blankets in my bed.
Relax girl, it's going to be okay!
Just breathe through it and calm down.
It happens to everyone...