moved in..for the tenth time

I have moved SO many times! Mostly with my mom. It has been my dad's dream to build a house. We started the building process in about March. It was a long process. So many things to pick out and decide! I didn't even have to decide on that many things. I cant imagine what it was like for my dad! We did a lot of building and helped out a lot. It saved us quite a bit of money. My dad worked out on it so much. I helped to, and so did everyone else but it doest even compare to the amount my dad did. We were renting a house in Albert Lea so we only had so much time. We ended up moving in with the house not fully complete. So we worked to get it done! Now we have been living in it for about 2 weeks. In the beginning, it didn't feel right. Not quite like home. I think a lot of people feel that way at first though. I have all my close put away, pictures hung up and things where they need to be. It's starting to feel like home. I am so happy for my dad and that his dream came true! Our house is about 3 miles west of Clarks Grove, in the country. It's such a good feeling knowing that I will probably not move until college. It will take some getting used to living out in the country but it will be VERY fun! In about a month, we should be all settled in and it will feel like home! (:

Dont Jump to Conclusions!

Everyone jumps to conclusions. And usually they jump to conclusions FAST! That happened to me twice today. One was with a friend. I posted something to Ashely on facebook and she thought it was about her. I hate when people butt in. She not only jumped to conclusions, she butted into our conversation and assumed things that weren't true! That is one of my pet peeves. I told her that it wasn't about her and kinda hinted she shouldn't get involved with other people's conversations. This next one was my fault. I was texting a guy and we had been talking all day. Everything seemed fine. Then I got this message with a signature on the bottom with a girls name and a heart. My stomach fell. It felt like I got punched in the gut so hard 100 times!! I didn't know what to think. I had been talking to this boy for over a while now and everything seemed just fine! I didn't know what I could have done or anything! So I jumped to conclusions. I thought he was dating this girl. That's what most people would have thought right? I texted back right away asking who this girl was. No reply. Great. This makes things a lot better! Now I'm getting more and more nervous. I resent the message and still no replay! AHH! Now I'm really scared and sad. Finally he replies and said it was his cousins name and she took his phone. WO! I feel so dumb now. It's amazing how fast people can jump to conclusions! Give it time. Then try and figure it out BEFORE jumping to conclusions. I learned my lesson today!

Get it together here!

Well I almost forgot to blog twice this week. I have a lot of things I could blog about. School, grades, sports, a new guy, life etc etc. The quarter is almost done. This school year has not been that good in terms of grades. I am slacking SO bad. I feel so careless. I'm not doing bad but I have B's. I usually get one B at the most. I have 3 now and the quarter is coming to an end really fast!! I know I can do better. I have told myself that so much and I'm still not doing anything about it. My friends and I talk about this a lot and they all agree with me! This year everyone feels so careless. Now all of our friends are getting their license so we are never home. Go out every day or have practice. This year i am never home! I really really need to pull it together! I know I am capable of doing it. I just need to show it. I think now that its getting closer and closer to the end of the quarter I am realizing it. That's not a good time to realize it because then I have no time to get my grade up! AHH! I know I will probably get my butt chewed when my grades come so that might be a slap in the face and help me out a little bit. I really need to prioritize my things and activities. Maybe I shouldn't go out every night! But then I feel like I have no life. I think this is a loose loose situation. I guess I will have to try and get it together. Or just keep doing what I'm doing now and see what happens. Which probably isn't a good idea and wont turn out so good....

Ashley Anita
Taylor Elaine

Just names?
I think not.

Those are the names of two of my best friends. Everyone has friends. they come and they go. i have lost so many friends through the years, but i have gained so many more! I guess that's just what junior high and high school does to you. I used to be so close with a lot of guys in elementary but then we drifted apart. i have so many amazing friends! Summer, Sam, Macy, Katie, Gilby, Ally, Courtney, Megan, Taylor, Keisha, Stacia, and SO many more! you all are SO amazing and i would DIE with out all of you. I LOVE MY GIRLS! (you too guys (; ) Friends are so amazing. i cant even name off all the reasons. Laughs, tears, late night talks, the gossip, the guys, fashion shopping! Well you get the picture(: with that said..

Ashley and I haven't known each other for about 2-3 years. just this last summer was the summer we became really close. we hung out so much and did everything together!! it was one of the best summers ever! i always wonder to myself "Why didn't I meet this girl sooner and become friends with her?!" She is amazing. I know i can count on her for any and everything! i always go to her when i have boy problems, some new gossip or just a shoulder to cry on. i would not know what i would do without her! I LOVE YOU ASHLEY ANITA!! (:

Taylor Elaine. I have known this girl my WHOLE life! now how many of you can say that about someone!? (: when we were little, we lived right next door to each other. we didn't go to the same school till i was in 4th grade. she is a year younger than me..well 8 months. ha but then we moved away. only like 4 miles though. we would still always hang out, go to movies ect. She really is my sister i never had. i always go to her too. We talk about EVERYTHING! Yeah, there will be fights but we always manage to get through it. together. we always work it out. we have pretty much been through everything together. we are undestroyable! i don't think we will ever stop being best friends! I LOVE YOU TAYLOR ELAINE!! (:

so thanks for everything all my girls!! (:

Haven't done a whole lot today,
just one of those lazy days
everyone needs those once in a while.

Night comes around,
eat with the family,
go get ready and come back down stairs
going to go out with friends tonight.

I get to the field,
go find everyone.
we chat,
have a lot of laughs
its a good time.

We see some cute guys and my frinds ask me to go down and talk to them
I go down
did a girl a favor...(:
and got their numbers

going out with the girls,
grab a bite to eat after the game.
a little more laughter
A little more chatting

Sounds like a pretty fun and good night, right?

Well, now it all changes

I get in the car with my mom.
Silent.

Now I'm home.
Get a message.
Its from him
I think my heart just broke. Again.
He says he honestly doest wanna hang out and then it came...the words no girl wants to hear.
Bye.
I liked him so much

Now those boys from the game are texting me.
Jerks,
Liars.
Ugh.
It just proves everything to me. Again
That all boys are the same

But I'm talking to that one that can show me they are not all the same
I know i can count on him.

My mom is laying on the couch.
She turns the TV off.
Comes over and talks to me

You need to be more grateful
Respectful.
Here come the tears
I thought i raised a grateful girl
i don't know what i did wrong
The world doest revolve around you.
Show everyone you care about them as much as they care and love you

Wo!
i think my jaw dropped.
Where the heck is this coming from!?
Hearing this crushes me so bad.
it kills me
What did i do?

This night went from pretty fun and amazing
to a night from hell.
I couldn't even think straight.
One thing after another.
Ugh...
I hope tomorrow is better

Do what you need to do...whatever it takes.

I'm not really sure if I can take this much longer.
I'm so frustrated and fed up with this!
Ahh!

You make me want to rip my hair out of my head.
To shake you,
Yell COME ON!!
I try so hard.
And you just don't get it

I wish I could just call you and let it all just come out.
Then you will know how I feel

I get so frustrated.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I try and try to move on...

I just cant seem to do it...
I know I probably deserve better but,
Ugh...I just cant get my mind around the fact of loosing you.

The second and third chances,
I guess I can erase all the bad things and only focus on the good things.
They must really over rule the bad.

All I can ask is why.
I tell you how i feel.
And nothing seems to change.
Obviously you don't feel the same way about me as I do you.

Saying that hurts.
So bad.
It's like a sharp needle through my heart.
It leaves me breathless.

My eyes are welling up.
Why me...
Rolling down my checks.
Why cant you just realize this.
And be here for me

Wow.
I really don't know what to do or think.
This is so hard.
Words cant describe what I'm feeling.
I really have NO clue what to think.

My mind is racing.
Big breath in,
Just relax baby girl.
Do what you need to do...

I miss this...

They come out onto the field.
Warm-up.
Then the announcer comes on saying please stand for the National Anthem.
Now they are getting announced.

Looking around for that certain number.
Cant quite find him...
The kick off.
Running, Passing, TOUCHDOWN!

Found him.
Laying on the field.
Is he hurt?
Nope, he got back up
Good for him!

Now I see that number.
My eyes wont leave it.
Running back and fourth from the field to the bench.

I didn't realize how much I missed it.
The talks, cute messages.
It kinda sucks.
I wonder who is wearing his other jersey.
Lucky girl.

It's so cold out.
But then I just think to myself maybe you can see him after.
Hang out.
Only a matter of minutes left.

The game is done.
They lost.
I bet he is bummed.
But he played so good.

We go to the locker room.
I send him a message saying good job! Your such a stud(:
He replies!
I tell him I am outside.
Now he is being cute again.

Standing,
Waiting,
To see if he will come out.

There he is.
He sees me.
But it's just a quick hi,
Its better than nothing I guess

We text after,
Hoping we can hang out.
He is tired so we cant
maybe next time...

Man I miss this...
..and him
If only he knew...

Amazing,
There for you,
Tears shead,
Smiles too.

Through good times and bad,
Right next to you or miles away.
They are always there.

I can look right next to me,
and see you there.
My other half,
Best Friend,
Lover,
Wittle Baby,
Companion,
Partner in crime.

One minute your here,
The next your gone.

Not one word can describe what you mean to me.
I look out the window and see your face.
Your gone.
Never coming back.

I didn't think it would hurt so bad.
Or I would miss you this much.
My mind wont erase you.
Or my heart.

You wont ever know the pain you put me through.
The Heartache.
You meant so much.
And now so little.

The tears start rolling down my face.
I start to throw everything out.
All the pictures,
Letters,
Love notes.

I try to banish all the memories.
I cant.
Stay strong, I tell myself.
You will get through it.

Hold you head up high like nothing ever happened...

Who Knows What the Next Second can Bring

That is like the theme of life. One minute everything is fine but the next it has gone totally down hill. This blog is kinda like the Cj one. I went to a hockey game tonight and we were down 0-1 then 1-2 then we tied 2-2 and then ended up winning 3-2! 2 of those goals happened in the third period. It was like bam, bam in a way. They were both kinda unexpected. For me at least. That made me think wow anything can happen at any moment. If you stay bound and determined, you can do anything. The boys didn't give up. they gave it their all. That's what we need to do then we can realize anything is possible. Think of the positive. Anything is possible(: and remember it only takes a second for things to happen!

Life--Can you describe it in one word?

Well I'm struggling with my blog today. I have absolutely no idea what to blog about today! That hasn't happened to me yet and honestly I didn't think it would. But anyways..my life at the moment is kinda crazy. As well as being crazy its hectic, stressful and time consuming! With school, sports, family, friends and what not, it seems like I have no time at the end of the day. In a way that's kinda my fault because I always end up going to hang out with friends after school then go to a sporting event or something. If its not that then there is a tennis match that I go to and support my girls. Then that leaves me getting home at 9 on a good night but probably later. Now I have to get my homework done! On top of that, my mind is racing about tests, what my MRI will show about my knee and my friend Cj wont leave my mind! Today I have SO much homework. probably the most i have had all year. So when the day is said and done i like to go lay down in my bed, curl up in my blankets , listen to my ipod and go to sleep. Hopefully the weekend will bring some down time! When people read this I don't want them to think i hate my life or anything because I LOVE MY LIFE! I'm just venting(: