This one's for you...

The hardest thing in life is loosing the ones you love, the ones that are closest to you.
To come home each and everyday and see them struggling?
How it breaks my heart.
To wish I could just go and grab them in my arms,
And make everything all better.
Seeing them struggle, and knowing you cant do anything is the worst part.
Knowing that if I could do anything,
Take the pain for them,
Make them go back to normal,
But I cant.
All you can do is sit there and watch.
Sitting in their arms,
Just like it was when you were a little girl,
You can feel your heart breaking more and more,
With each moment of silence.
As all the memories come back to you,
From the holiday dinners to birthday parties,
Or just the days when it was you her and  grandma.
I know loosing you would come,
Since its part of life.
But I didn't think it would have this effect on me.
As we arrive at your funeral,
And your not there, with me,
Tears starting rolling down my checks.
You were my all, my world.
The one I looked up too.
I cant take this pain and heartache.
Then I see grandma, as she comes over and grabs me.
I look over and see my dad, my brother, crying.
My grandma holds me, and I hold her.
Tight. Not letting go.
It doesn't seem real,
Loosing you, and knowing you wont be back.
Looking back on everything today makes me realize all that we had.
Our special bond.
I wish I could tell you I Love You one more time.
To spend one more day with you.
Anything.
But your gone, and you wont be able to read this.
There is so much I want to tell you.
Everything about life,
School, boys, drama, the whole 9 yards.
But your gone.
This blog is dedicated to you,
Grandma Holstad.
I love you and miss you so much <3
I will see you again, I promise.